I just finished watching a rebroadcast of the Apple Keynote. iPhone 6 and 6+, Apple Pay, Apple Watch. Cool products. For someone else.

It took me longer than most of you to get a smart phone. Why? You’d think that since I run a business that requires the use of a computer, I would be a first adopter. But I couldn’t justify the cost of the phone and more importantly, the cost of the phone plan. I still can’t. But what I can justify is the cost of the service provided by Republic Wireless (see related post), even though I only get 2 choices for phones, both of them Android-based.

But back to Apple. I just have to laugh, Tim Cook was obviously very excited (he said it a dozen times during the announcement, just in case we missed it the first time). Now don’t get me wrong. The iPhone 6 is cool. Great looking, great hardware, great features. Ground breaking features? Nope. Oh look, a predictive keyboard. I have that on my Android phone. Oh look, phone service over WiFi. I have that with my Republic Wireless service. Oh look, a $200/month phone bill. I don’t have that.

Now, time for the Apple Watch (see what I did there?). Their design of course, is stunning, and they made sure that it was customizable almost as much externally as internally so everyone can get a version that suits them. But here are three quick points that won’t get it on my wrist. “Requires iPhone.” Deal breaker right there. I might have even considered it, but the fact that it’s required just annoys the heck out of me. Next, the cost. $349.00 smackers. Wow, it’s as much as buying their iPhone 6 64GB version (with a 2yr agreement). That no mere accessory, folks, that’s a whole wardrobe. And three, Mr. Cook said that since he knows we’ll be using it it a lot, he made recharging it easy. But he never mentions what the battery life is. That is scary.

If I want the time, I’ll look at my phone.

ApplePay. Or PayApple, in this case, because to use it, you must have an iPhone 6 or an Apple Watch (iPhone required.). Again, being a fan of Max Headroom and all things futuristic, I like the idea of waving a wand or phone in front of a register and paying for something (though the idea feels less secure than it probably is), but not if it locks me into any piece of hardware.

Let me reiterate for people who need reminding, and to those people who were writing about corporate addiction. I could get by using other people’s hardware and software to do my work, but Apple products make it easier. I am willing to pay more for that, because in the end it benefits me. But don’t think for a second that means that I will just zoom out and buy an iPhone 6 or an Apple Watch (iPhone required). I don’t see the payoff here. What about you?